Write_Stuff_Poetry

I cling on to my memories As if dissolving my life today Why am I held hostage by my memories? Can I wake up and start living for each day? It seems that I’m addicted to the days of old When the people who possessed my heart Were still with me- and I can’t seem to let go I believe there is a place where I can start. Will I ever decide to live each day As a gift- than living in my past? Can I learn to live around my memories And built new relationships that may last? I cannot continue to live as a hostage To these memories of my love so deep Perhaps I can reach out to the here and now And save these memories for when I sleep.

I didn't have any lessons, nor a role-model to follow but I wanted to be a mother more than anything other I thought I was capable to love and nurture to have a bond with three little baby dolls that filled my life with love. And after that story ended for me~ that my babies found their lives Without a way to warn me, I find out that all I did was fail. Does God wish for me a shorter life ~to spare me from the pain To find that ending and put them out of their misery For the ten years of human suffering must be my payment For doing this inadequate parent dance for the whole world to see WHY?? Why didn't anyone tell me I was wrong ~that I did not have what it took To love my children unconditionally....that I was not worthy, and I failed I sit here looking out the window wondering why I exist There are so many families that are filled with love ~I THOUGHT I knew in my heart that I was capable...only to find that the degree of my failure...

Everyday it seems I did one little thing to help someone.....nothing fancy....just little gestures of kindness...to be the kind of person my dad wanted me to be.... I'm a grandma now.....and I know that my grandchildren will never know this side of me.... Because maybe I could do nice little gestures for people who appreciate them.... But somewhere along the way, the grandest time of my life~ having my children and raising them to be good to all people.......I went wrong.... and I don't think I'll have enough time to find out what has caused this vial of hate they run into my veins.. So now it is a match to see which poison kills me first.....my kidney or my flesh and blood....... ~V

I want to figure something out I need to know what life’s about I know I was created for a reason Oh, tell me Lord, it this my season? Can my smile brighten someone’s day? If you’re lost, can I help you find your way? Can I sit by you and dry your tears? Will it help if I let you share your fears? I spent my youth, and sometimes wondered Why am I here? Had my parents blundered? But now I clearly hear His calling I’m here to catch you if you’re falling My eyes have just been opened wide There’s no more shame, I will not hide I’m here to help the fragile heart To work for You, I’m ready to start! You blessed me, Lord, to feel compassion For those who need your satisfaction I’m here to let You lead me where I can let another know You’re there I thank you Lord for this, my blessing I will honor your wishes to all those confessing That they are searching for You to better their live Even if times are tough and they’re full of anguish & strife The perfectio...

We are born Sent down with a file of our life's plan for making decisions one day at a time life is such an opportunity having a box full of ideas, adventures, experiences timing is of huge importance but reach in that box daily and use all the gifts God filled it with and never forget that a day may come when the box has no contents and your memories are gone with no way to replace your life~all the facts of your life~who you were, are, and ever could have been.

What happens to people when they lose half of themselves Do they realize that they cannot live with so much loss? In 52 years I have never known such love I lay here numb, wishing, praying, trying to be grateful to God for answering my wish of thirty years You DID hear my prayers And within one and a half years, you gave him a chance to love me back and got to share memories that belong only to our hearts and our souls~together from now until eternity In your arms....that is where I would choose~ your comforting arms that never let go I know I learned about being real...I won't forget the shoulder that let me rest...that holds my secrets as sacred, as I hold your secrets in my heart....I will hold them gently, sweetly, privately I saw what you hid so well all these years....I saw through into a loving soul And I know you knew how deep my love went You knew it never died- I could tell now that it was forever- for eternity... there will never be time that I will spend wit...

I know you thought in your empty words that you could destroy me or anyone Who got in your way As you work your way up and uIn your social staus Your domain of traitors Waiting for the next chance to defeat one another There is no loyalty But I still believe that the further you climb the harder you fall And I will watch, helplessly Because I don't know how to help people like you. ~Vickie Skowronski June2010

in all my days I was sure I had been betrayed by people who break promises, or repeat secrets shared but those were "young" betrayals, and somehow we survive those hurts we move on but the years change the way the betrayals do affect us they can make us as hard as stone or they can shatter the brittleness on the floor in a billion piece where there is no chance of healing........ever.......... ~v

one day i will write my last word without warning you can read them if you wish because they might be about you and the bond we once had that i decided i would never let go of that last word

The raw, repetative screech following me every morning........... To a place that I could hide and laugh where young men mimicked the raw, repetative screech following me ~v

Forbidden Mention What causes your family to bury the past? To hide from the truth, don’t want it to last Is it better to bury the problems of old? I found out its lies I have always been told. I wondered what the whispering was all about It sent chills up my spine~ I wanted to shout Curiosity left me uneasy and scared I knew there was something that should have been shared. Now turn the clock forward, this mess I must fix The damage is done; I am scarred by the mix The secrets are buried so deep in the ground Is there hope that my history can someday be unbound? I was raised in a family so bound by abuse There were such evil things that were unspoken, obtuse We lived in a dungeon without any key As children we just had no option to flee. The secrets were buried, or so they did think I vow to disclose all these stories in ink These demons, they need to be torn from my life No more generations will carry this strife. If your life has been stable, with love and support Don’t pretend that...

Look Right Through Me I looked in your eyes, and what did I see That clearly you were not thinking ‘bout me What is it about me, I really must ask That makes you look past me, like I wear a mask You know you can trust me That your confidence I’ll keep I am always loyal, faithful to friends That’s where it stops, yes, that’s where it ends I never saw this coming, though In fact, I don’t even want you to know So why am I feeling this, what did I see I felt like we had a sweet chemistry I can’t even mention this-feel like a fool I know I can’t do it, which just isn’t cool I put feelings to paper to shelter my heart I have to protect me, I have to be smart I find it amazing that I’m here to write To mention my feelings, these feelings I fight It seems pretty silly, the way that I feel So, silly in fact, perhaps it’s not real? Just what am I thinking- I’m sharing my heart To people unlikely- that isn’t too smart I’m sure in the long run...

IF I EVER UNDERSTOOD As I close out my fiftieth year So many things I used to fear Have given way to joy, not sorrow And promise of a new tomorrow I’ve come to see that there are things That being over fifty brings Like memories made out of solid gold That sooth my heart and can’t be sold I know they say you can’t look back To find the things you may have lacked It’s when we set up limitations That looking back can’t cause elations Don’t ever look at the number you are Unless you think you’re not a star Those people who come from your past Contribute to the YOU that lasts Each person somehow left a mark And sometimes even there’s a spark Don’t wait to speak, don’t wait to share Don’t wait to tell them that you care My eyes have opened very wide To what I missed and why I hide I will not miss another day To say the things I NEED to say! Vickie Skowronski ~Copyright September 2009

30 August 2009 Today, in 1924, a baby was born This child grew up to be my Daddy Today he would be 85 years old..... If I do the math, that means he has been gone for almost 22 years Don't wait until tomorrow......because tomorrow is never promised Do you tell your family and friends that you love them? It seems "wierd" to still be grieving after 22 years I know what Elizabeth Kubler Ross says There are stages of grief And they all have their time and place But, I found out that being "strong" and "tough" about grief, It does not go away into oblivion~and "stuffing" your feelings Can only destroy you, make you run scared Because when you lose the one person in your life who believed in you You forget who you were..who you are.... And even being 50 years old, you feel like a child who just lost her favorite toy We all have to face those losses~throughout our lives nothing is guaranteed What we can guarante...

In the stillness of the morning I think about my day Put my thoughts and words together And to Jesus I do pray Before I turn the lights on Put the coffee on to brew I ask the Lord to guide me, What he’d like to see me do To make this world a better place To help my fellow man He put me here to do these things I know this is His plan As the sun begins to rise I feel joy within my heart Having Jesus there to light my way He can show me where to start. Vickie Skowronski ~Copyright 1998

Unlock the Peace Within Look within yourself And you will see To find the peace you crave You will need to have a key The key is not made Out of iron or of brass But rather, it’s of something Your heart cannot surpass To find a real peace Hold your hand upon your heart If it feels steady and certain You know you’ve made the right start. For peace begins inside you When you life your life each day With a feeling God has touched your heart In each and every way. Vickie Skowronski ~Copyright 1998

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (New King James Version) The Thorn in the Flesh 7 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. 8 Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. 9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Repentance Don’t do it for me- to undo your guilt This issue is bigger than milk that has spilled To devote all your life to our Savior and Lord A word that cannot be confessed is “I’m bored” For boredom attracts the devils attention And Jesus gets not even an honorable mention We are told in His wisdom to work for his cause That words without action won’t get His applause As I avoid conflict that crushes my heart I walk in the spirit with Jesus impart Don’t follow me now, because I will not lead I know that my job was to nurture a seed The seed was meant to promote and to grow To God it appeared you had so much to show He entrusted me with a challenge to exception And I gave it my all even though it was deception Why is it I’m still hurting long after it’s through Because it was ALL OF ME that I gave to you I committed to doing the job I was asked ‘Cause it is my will to do all of His tasks Oh Lord, can you see me behin...

Spiritual Maturity  I thank you, oh Lord for each breath that I take  For lessons I learned when mistakes I did make  I thank you for giving me the spirit to live  And allowing me the honor of wanting to give  This level of spirit to nurture you gave me  To understand life and how humans forsake Thee  I stand up for righteousness in all loads we bear  I even desire people to follow through with care  I am finding that people don’t follow the way  I find that they don’t follow through in what they say  I pray that they realize their actions impact  And hope that with Jesus it isn’t an act  To say you’re a follower of His Holy word  But don’t follow through on the words that are heard  Is Jesus not present in the life that you hurt  Would you make an excuse to Him to alert  That something came up, and the plans now have changed  Do your words an...

I went to visit my daddy today I talked, he listened.... in fact, these days, all he does is listen I spoke about Elizabeth's first day of college tomorrow I told him that I missed him~my best friend I told him that I am not giving into this affliction And that I found a keyboard for $20 at a rummage sale And that whenever I play Fuer Elise, I play it for him Because he always liked that song when I played it Even though he can no longer talk to me I hear his spirit whisper to me He is ok where he is at~ a PEACEFUL place Different than on the Earth He reminded me that this loneliness for him Will surrender itself when we meet again one day. Vickie Skowronski ~Copyright August 2009